Another good Scottish one.

[The EnForcer]

A Scottish man walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scottish man shouts
" Awa ye feel hoor thats full O coos Sharn " ( Translated: Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s hi t.)

The man shouts back
"I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you".
The Scottish man shouts back
"Use both hands, you'll get more in."

[Flamethrower]

I never thought a Scot would be so generous to a Pom