Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 20

Thread: Excaped Convict

  1. #1
    Champion Contributor Mtbeaver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    2,122
    vCash
    5000000

    Excaped Convict

    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the

    husband tells his wife:

    "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."


    To which his wife responds:

    "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  2. #2
    Legend Contributor
    Moderator
    Happy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    JB O'Reilly's
    Posts
    8,172
    vCash
    5000000
    old .. very old!

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

  3. #3
    Champion Contributor Mtbeaver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    2,122
    vCash
    5000000
    Comon... I'd never heard it before!

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  4. #4
    Legend Contributor
    Moderator
    Happy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    JB O'Reilly's
    Posts
    8,172
    vCash
    5000000
    you mean "c'mon" ????

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

  5. #5
    Champion Contributor Mtbeaver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    2,122
    vCash
    5000000
    I think you should shut up, Happy!!

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  6. #6
    Veteran Contributor LarryNJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    NJ USA
    Posts
    4,780
    vCash
    5000000
    I never heard it before, and I'm really old.

    I probably have heard it I just don't remember!

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  7. #7
    Veteran Contributor LarryNJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    NJ USA
    Posts
    4,780
    vCash
    5000000
    I never heard it before, and I'm really old.

    I probably have heard it I just don't remember!

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  8. #8
    Legend Contributor
    Moderator
    Happy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    JB O'Reilly's
    Posts
    8,172
    vCash
    5000000
    Quote Originally Posted by Mtbeaver
    I think you should shut up, Happy!!
    Does TLH pay you enough to think???

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

  9. #9
    Veteran Contributor JediKnight's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Perth (West Leederville)
    Posts
    4,710
    vCash
    5000000
    Quote Originally Posted by Mtbeaver
    ... I'd never heard it before!
    That's because you haven't been around for very long, young pup!!!

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    CHEERLEADERS ROCK!!!


  10. #10
    Veteran Contributor LarryNJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    NJ USA
    Posts
    4,780
    vCash
    5000000
    Quote Originally Posted by Happy
    Does TLH pay you enough to think???
    Are you working for TLH Matt?

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  11. #11
    Champion Contributor Mtbeaver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    2,122
    vCash
    5000000
    half and half...

    Its gonna be an on off thing

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  12. #12
    Legend Contributor
    Moderator
    Happy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    JB O'Reilly's
    Posts
    8,172
    vCash
    5000000
    it should be good for you!!

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

  13. #13
    Veteran Bookie
    Contributor
    The Lone Hydrangea's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Guildford.W.A.
    Posts
    4,122
    vCash
    5000000
    Yo Beav, ive never heard that joke before either. I thought it was good.

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

    the punters friend..... stick with me and you will be wearing



  14. #14
    Champion Contributor Mtbeaver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    2,122
    vCash
    5000000
    Hehe thanks, TLH

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  15. #15
    Veteran Contributor JediKnight's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Perth (West Leederville)
    Posts
    4,710
    vCash
    5000000
    It'll be a laugh a minute in TLH's garden if he hasn't heard any of those old chestnuts that Beaver is bringing out!!!

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    CHEERLEADERS ROCK!!!


Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •