An oldie

[Flamethrower]

A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was badly broken anyway. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire exactly where the heart would be on a woman.
The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

[Happy]

hahahahaha nice!!

[Jess]

i'm not sure whether to laugh or cry...

[.X.]

i'm not sure whether to laugh or cry...

Its ok Jessc - you have nothing to concern yourself with. Yet

[Jess]

hahaha... yeah... yet.

[frontrow]

This is one for TLH,
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party.







The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honour of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days.



But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests.



What is your first request?"







The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."



The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away.







Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.







As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.







The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse but I will still kill you in two days.



What is your second request?"







The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him , and he again whispers in the horse's ear.







As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.







Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde.







She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.







The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents but I still kill you tomorrow.

"What is your last request?"







The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse....alone."



The Chief is curious but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.







Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,



"Listen very carefully you dumb ass horse.



For the last time . . . BRING POSSEEEE!!!!"

[tdevil]

Brilliant Frontrow loooool

[Mtbeaver]

hahaha... yeah... yet.

Haha.. Jess i think you still have a fair while

[The Lone Hydrangea]

What a cracker,Frontrow!