As many are aware, the French government recently announced a rise
in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is
"General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are
"Surrender" and "Collaborate". As well as the alerts in London the
rise was allegedly precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed
France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's
military capability. It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of
alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and
excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels
remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides". The
Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in
uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels:
"Invade a neighbour" and "Lose". Seeing this reaction in continental
Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another
oil-rich nation for regime change". Their remaining higher alert
states are "Attack random countries (ideally those without any
credible military)" and "Beg the British for help". The British are
also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have
raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though,
security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in
1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-
categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the
Great Fire of 1666.