The Devil.

[Burgs]

George Bush has a heart attack and dies.

He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I’m not sure what to do here," says the Devil.
"You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I've got 3 people here in separate rooms that weren't quite as bad as you.

I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves, alright?"

George thinks that sounds pretty good, so he agrees.
The Devil opens the door into the first room.

In it is John Howard floundering around in a large pool of water. He keeps sinking and resurfacing over and over and over, gasping for air.
Such was his fate in Hell.

"No!" George cries. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long, forever."

The Devil leads him to the next room.

In it is Tony Blair with a sledgehammer. The room is full of large rocks.

All Blair does is swing that sledgehammer, time after time after time, over and over, smashing rocks and more rocks immediately appear to replace the ones he smashes.

"No! Exclaims George. I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if I had to smash up rocks all day, forever!"

The Devil opens the third door.

In it, George sees Bill Clinton pegged out naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs spread-eagled out. Bent over Clinton is Monica Lewinsky, busily doing what Monica does best. George Bush looks at this in disbelief for a while and finally says,

"Yeah, okay, I can handle this."

The Devil smiles and says gently...."Monica, you're free to go."

[fulvio sammut]

An Irishman walks into J.B O'Rielly's and sees a man sitting there, drinking Guiness. He walks up to him and says 'Excuse me Sir, but you wouldn't by any chance happen to be Oirish?" "It so happen oi am " .was the reply. "So am oi, so am oi. Let's drink to that. Barman another round for me and moi friend here.You don't by any chance come from Dublin?". That oi do , that oi do." was the reply.
"What a coincidence, so do oi. Oi'll drink to that . Barman two more.And what school would you be going to?". "St. Patricks in O'Connell street." was the reply. "Would you now? Mary and all the saints be praised! Oi went to St Patricks in O'Connell street!! Lets drink to that. Barman two more."
After gulping his third pint the Irishman continues."And what year would you be going to dear old St Pats?". "1975." "1975!! Begosh and begorrah!!Oi went to St Pats in 1975!! We must drink to that. Barman two more pints!".
At this point a third man walks into the bar, sees the animated Irishmen, and asks the barman what's going on. "Nothing much " answers the barman."Just the Murphy twins on the piss again."

[fulvio sammut]

Moshe Cohen, an Israeli airforce pilot, is shot down over Lebanon by the Hesbollah. He survives the crash but is badly hurt and is taken prisoner. The prison surgeon visits him next day and informs him that his left leg is so badly injured it must be amputated.
Moshe sighs and says "God's will be done. I ask only that my poor leg be returned to my beloved homeland."
The surgeon is touched by this patriotism and says that this can be arranged. The leg is attached to a missile and dispatched to Israel.
The next day the surgeon again visits Moshe with bad news. "Your right leg is gangrenous and will have to be amputated" ."I accept my fate" says Moshe. "But please, may the leg rest in my homeland.' The surgeon is amazed by this stoic valour and says it will be done.
Day three the surgeon has more sombre news for Moshe."The gangrene has spread and I must remove your right arm." "May it also be delivered to the land of my people " says Moshe with the best shrug he can muster.The surgeon is astounded at his courage and vows that this will come to pass.
Day four and the surgeon has the task of informing Moshe that his left arm also must be removed. Moshe smiles weakly and says "Doctor you have been kind to me thus far . Can I ask that my remaining limb be dispatched to Israel?" The surgeon shakes his head vigorously. "But why not!" Moshe cries.
"Because " says the surgeon "we have reason to believe you are trying to escape."

[LarryNJ]

I've seen more Bush jokes on this ste than I hear up here!

[Mtbeaver]

bahaha, thats disgusting!

[steph2993]

oh no really?