SEX AT 79



I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79.

I'm so happy, because I live at number 71.

So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.

And it's the same side of the street.

I don't even have to cross the road!




Answering machine message,

"I am not available right now,

but thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making some changes in my life.

Please leave a message after the beep.

If I do not return your call,

you are one of the changes."

~~~~~



Aspire to inspire before you expire.


~~~~~



My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.



~~~~~



Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.



~~~~~



Blessed are those who can give without remembering

and take without forgetting.

~~~~~

The irony of life is that,

by the time you're old enough to know your way around,

you're not going anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time

to think of an answer for her first question.

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders,

but it keeps getting harder to find one.

~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.