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Thread: Geek Joke

  1. #16
    (a.k.a. Mr Pinkbits) Stone Cold's Avatar
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    A neutron walks into a bar, orders a drink and asks "How much?"
    The bartender replies "For you, no charge"

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    coz Stone Cold says so

  2. #17
    Immortal Contributor shasta's Avatar
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    Meanwhile in other news; researchers in Fairbanks Alaska have developed a superconductor that works efficiently at room temperature.

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    "The main difference between playing League and Union is that now I get my hangovers on Monday instead of Sunday - Tom David

  3. #18
    Legend Contributor brokendown gunfighter's Avatar
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    not geeky but very funny

    Ritchie McCaw goes into the All Black changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit down. "What's up guys?" he asks.

    "Well Ritchie, to be honest we're having all sorts of trouble getting motivated for this game against Australia . We know it's important but we've just beaten Argentina and South Africa in consecutive weeks and, let's be honest, it's only the Aussies this week. They're crap and we simply can't be bothered".

    Ritchie looks at them and says "Okay guys, I hear what you're saying. The way I've been playing recently, I reckon I can beat these Aussies by myself. Why don't you fellas go down to the pub, have a few jars and maybe catch it on telly. I really think I can do this by myself"

    The rest of the team reckon it’ll work and they agree. So Ritchie goes out to play the Wallabies by himself while the rest of the ABs go off for a few pots. After a couple, they begin to wonder how the game is going, so they get the barman to put the telly on.

    A huge cheer goes up as the screen reads (after 10 minutes): "New Zealand 7, (McCaw, converted try) -- Australia 0”

    Dammit, he's actually beating Australia all by himself. Surely he can't do it, can he?

    Anyway, a few more beers later, the telly goes off and the game is temporarily forgotten until someone suddenly remembers, "Heck, It must be full time now, let's see how Ritchie got on". They get the telly put back on and look on eagerly.

    There on the screen is the result: Full-time from Eden Park,: New Zealand 7, (McCaw, 1 converted try); Australia 7, (Sharpe, 1 try, Cooper 1 conversion.)

    They can't believe it! It's a draw. Ritchie v Australia and he single-handedly managed a draw against the Aussie Wallabies!

    Delighted, they rush back to Eden Park to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, slumped over with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down guys," he mumbles disconsolately. "I'm so sorry, but I've really let you down."

    "Don't be an idiot skipper; you got a draw against Australia, all alone, all by yourself. And they only scored a single try, right at the death, after 79 minutes!”

    "No, no, I have" says Ritchie. "I've let you down. I hope you can forgive me. Twenty minutes from full time, I got sent off!"

    This email has been filtered by SMX. For more information visit smxemail.com

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    Last edited by brokendown gunfighter; 09-10-12 at 10:56.

  4. #19
    Senior Player DinkyDi's Avatar
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    Okay - this one is for the metaphysicists who support TWF

    Heisenberg and Shrodinger get pulled over for speed.
    The cop asks,”do you know how fast you were going?”
    Heisenberg replies,”no, but I know were I am.”
    the cop thinks this strang reply calls for a search and opens the trunk.
    the cop says, ” do you know you have a dead cat in your trunk?’
    Shrodinger says,”well, I do now!”

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    __________________________________________________

    'Rugby and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.' -anonymous

  5. #20
    Veteran beige's Avatar
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  6. #21
    Immortal Contributor shasta's Avatar
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    Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning;*

    "Windows frozen won't open.”

    Husband texts back;

    "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."

    **

    Wife texts back 5 minutes later;

    "Computer really fucked now."

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    "The main difference between playing League and Union is that now I get my hangovers on Monday instead of Sunday - Tom David

  7. #22
    Veteran Contributor
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    A Higgs Boson goes into a church. The priest tells him to get out for taking the Lord's name in vain. The Boson says "Fine, I'll go, but you know you can't have mass without me".

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  8. #23
    Immortal Contributor shasta's Avatar
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    A geek groaner! Well done.

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    "The main difference between playing League and Union is that now I get my hangovers on Monday instead of Sunday - Tom David

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