Team of the week

Brett Kirk. The likeable midfielder - a credit to his parents, if one can say that of a 32-year-old - plays his 200th game for the Swans today.

The Brumbies. Scored an inspirational one-point win over the Bulls and have installed themselves as Australia's best chance to make the Super 14 finals.

Western Force. Had their first win over NSW and completed the Australian grand slam - defeating all three Australian sides.

Mark Webber. That strangely blue moon you saw this week? It was in honour of Webber's completing the Chinese Grand Prix and finishing second to boot!!

Scott Strange. Journeyman Australian golfer, right, won the China Open last weekend.

The Manly Savers Rugby Club. Celebrates its 100th anniversary this year. The Savers now play in the Meldrum Cup.

Essendon/Collingwood. Play in the traditional Anzac Day blockbuster today. I'll be doing the Channel Ten broadcast from 12-2pm - don't miss it!

Alstonville High School water polo team. Its third successive victory last week in the NSW CHS water polo championships - this one was in the open, after previous wins in the under-15 division - is an extraordinary effort for lads from a small country high school.

The Stampeders. A good bunch of Australian blokes, and an even better Canadian woman, make up as good a team as any to sponsor in the coming Oxfam walk. You can back them by going to www.stockland or sponsor any other team on
What they said

Chanell Seven AFL commentator Dennis Cometti during the Melbourne v Richmond match: "Richo criticising his forwards is like Michael accusing the rest of the Jackson 5 of being erratic."

Cometti, again, as the camera panned onto the embattled Richmond coach in his box, morosely surveying the carnage: "Terry Wallace is looking through the window of a P76 " Brilliant. (Younger readers, ask your parents for an explanation.)

Stan Dajka on the funeral of his son Jobie: "Yes, I am bitter, my son. My heart will never forgive them for taking your life's dreams away from you. They tore out your heart, put you in a heap and closed the door. I hope the guilt torments them forever, as it has done to us. You never fulfilled your lifelong dream of going to the Olympics."

Carlton coach Brett Ratten on their inability to win at the SCG since 1993: "The posts looked similar, the grass looked similar and the ball's pretty similar, and I know the players brought their boots up."

Arthur Beetson not happy with the powers that be: "What they're doing to our game is a joke. If they think the game's healthy, they're deluding themselves." Does anyone know precisely what the great man is so narky about?

Parramatta star Feleti Mateo on the "commitment" of the Eels players: "I know when I look around I see 16 or 17 other players there that are willing to die for the jersey." Geez, you'd hate to know what the scoreline would be if they weren't ready to die for it.

Adam MacDougall gets the last laugh on Wendell Sailor: "I saw him sitting on the bench, I thought he might have gone to the kiosk to get a pie. His big backside apparently got some cramps. He's a great footballer but I'm serious, they should change the colour of his jersey, it's not doing his backside any favours." I mean it, dinkum. Stop the presses. A footballer with a real personality and creative quotes!

Sailor on MacDougall: "I did go looking for him once or twice just to let him know that the fat boy scored."

Just another day in the life of the Fremantle Dockers - development coach Steve Malaxos said some Fremantle players dressed up as Klan members and raided each other's houses as a "prank": "There's a reasonable amount of pranks going on all the time. Sometimes they raid each other's houses in, sort of, Ku Klux Klan outfits. That's one of the other pranks." Why are so many footballers such embarrassing juveniles? Discuss.

Celtic manager Gordon Strachan responds to a female journalist, who asked why his side had just lost: "Explaining it to you is impossible. It would be like you explaining childbirth to me." Exactly! And why wasn't that female journo back in the kitchen, anyway?

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