WHAT THEY SAID

Geoff Lawson after a long run-up, in theroar.com.au. "Ponting wants Andrew Symonds back in 'my team' as soon as possible. It would be nice if Andrew made a run or took a wicket to justify his place in any team."

Rafael Nadal, after his superb Australian Open victory over Roger Federer: "I can't enjoy 100 per cent the victory because I saw him cry."

News of the World article quotes a source from an American college party where Olympian Michael Phelps was photographed smoking a bong: "You could tell Michael had smoked before. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and knew exactly what to do. He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool." News flash. American college student experiments with dope on a Saturday night. STOP THE PRESSES!

Sydney FC player Steve Corica on another coach getting sacked: "We've had four coaches in four years, so we've gotten used to this."

Jeff Thomson on the Australian bowlers: "We took two in 50 overs the other day, so maybe if we bowl 250 overs we'll get 10 wickets."

Dinara Safina after being dusted by Serena Williams, 6-0, 6-3 in the final of the Australian Open: "She was just too good today - I was just a ballboy on the court today."

The father of four-year-old Australian tennis prodigy Mia Lines, Glenn, used to tell friends even before his daughter was born that she would be a star. "I even took a tennis ball into the hospital when she was born." Is it just me, or does everyone else also smell trouble?

Anthony Mundine on a possible July fight in Germany against Sven Ottke: "It feels as if God is drawing me back to Germany. This time I will be going there as a man, whereas last time I was just a boy in boxing terms."

Daniel Vettori on Brad Haddin: "From Haddin's reaction, he knew something was wrong. He probably should have made more noise about it. It was disappointing."

Brad Haddin responds: "It's disappointing when anyone questions your integrity. I think it's quite poor." At least, like most professional sportspeople these days, Vettori and Haddin can agree that most things are, wait for it, "disappointing".

"I cry not because I'm less of a man. I cry because I am a man." Pass the tissues to former Buffalo Bills defensive end Bruce Smith, after he was elected to the NFL Pro Football Hall of Fame.

"I was watching the game with my family, Larry Fitzgerald scores the go-ahead Touchdown - then bam, penis!" A cable television customer in Tucson, Arizona, laments 30 seconds of a porno movie somehow being cut into the final minutes of the Super Bowl.


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