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Thread: Why did the chicken cross the road?

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    So, just why did that darn chicken cross the road?

    BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

    JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he was a maverick chicken, and he wanted to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    SARAH PALIN: The chicken had to cross the road because he was not able to find a bridge. Alaskans do not build bridges to nowhere. If he wanted a bridge, he'd have to build it himself.


    JOE BIDEN: The chicken crossed the road because he was heading back to Scranton .


    HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.


    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground here.


    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?


    COLIN POWELL: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.


    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?


    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.


    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.


    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.


    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


    ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.


    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.


    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.


    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.


    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.


    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

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    Legend Contributor Flamethrower's Avatar
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    I heard it was because the Grasshoppers were greener on the other side.

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    Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

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    Veteran Contributor LarryNJ's Avatar
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    Dick Cheney has the best response!

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    Immortal Contributor shasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Burgs View Post
    So, just why did that darn chicken cross the road?
    Cause it was the duck's day off?

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    "The main difference between playing League and Union is that now I get my hangovers on Monday instead of Sunday - Tom David


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    Vale thunderchicken9's Avatar
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    You could teach a class on American sociology using only this joke, a rubber band, some whipped cream, a ceiling fan, and maybe a chainsaw.. oh, and a monologue from William Shatner of Star Trek fame.. (I know, it doesn't make sense, except maybe, to me..)

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    by and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth-george carlin:

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    Nuh, still scratching my head after ten minutes

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    Veteran Contributor LarryNJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thunderchicken9 View Post
    You could teach a class on American sociology using only this joke, a rubber band, some whipped cream, a ceiling fan, and maybe a chainsaw.. oh, and a monologue from William Shatner of Star Trek fame.. (I know, it doesn't make sense, except maybe, to me..)
    Are you sharing what you're smoking?

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    Vale thunderchicken9's Avatar
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    Well, gin.. but I've never tried inhaling... Har! For some reason, my mind always reverts to the "A Team," "TJ Hooker" , and "Macgyver" when considering Americana around the globe.. I am a product of my youth.. I mean, some "smart" people might have mentioned the ideas of Thomas Paine, Ben Franklin, the principles of Dwight Eisenhower, the free artistic expression of Jack Kerouac, Miles Davis, Jimi Hendrix, but then, that paints a very confusing portrait of Americans.. Much more difficult to define than, oh, Obama or McCain... I'm... just.. sayin'.. we're not all either/or..

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    Last edited by thunderchicken9; 08-11-08 at 15:50. Reason: because i suck!
    by and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth-george carlin:

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    A duck was standing on the footpath looking up and down the road. A chicken walked past and said, "Don't do it mate, you'll never hear the bloody end of it".

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    Immortal jargan83's Avatar
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    that came out bigger then I thought it would

    one of the mods can fix it I hope...........

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  12. #12
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    Hopefully they'll tell me how when they do

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    Immortal GIGS20's Avatar
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    yep...that's a huge bitch!

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    C'mon the

  14. #14
    Immortal jargan83's Avatar
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    cheers to which ever mod fixed that

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