Classic Funny Rugby Quotes

[Burgs]

Over the years there has been some classic comments from players, coaches, commentators, supporters and detractors alike.
Bring out your favourite funny rugby one liners and, to try and give everyone a go, only post one or two at a time rather than downloading lists from the net.
The more obscure the better as most of us will have heard the really big ones over the years.
Any from Western Australian Rugby will gain you double bonus points!

Here's a taster from the UK:

On trying to stop Phil Horrocks-Taylor: "Every time I went to tackle him, Horrocks went one way, Taylor went the other, and all I got was the bloody hyphen." - Nick England

[Blew Crew]

1. "Remember that rugby is a team game; all 14 of you make sure you pass the ball to Jonah."
A FAX to the All Blacks before the 1995 World Cup semi-final.

[Sagerian]

If you take the scrum out of the equation, we played well.

- Eddie Jones.

[The EnForcer]

On Jonah Lomu - "There's no doubt about it, he's a big bastard." Classic Gavin Hastings

[shasta]

Who else but Murray " I don't agree with that law" Mexted..............



"I don't like to see hookers going down on players like that."

"No." - In answer to the question " Can you hear me, Murray."

Left out the Andrew Mehrtens / Darryl Gibson one - everyone knows that one

[The EnForcer]

Overheard by the television coverage last Saturday during Reds Force game: John Welbourne as he eventually got up after being told to get up a couple of times by the ref while pinned down by other players.

"Can't get up with no f'cking arms ref!"

Good one John. Anybody see how fired up he was....much respect dude!


Go The Force

[The EnForcer]

"Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the center of the city." - Oscar Wilde the f'cking faggot.

"We've lost seven of our last eight matches. Only team that we've beaten was Western Samoa. Good job we didn't play the whole of Samoa." - Gareth Davies (1989)

"Colin Meads is the kind of player you expect to see emerging from a ruck with the remains of a jockstrap between his teeth." - Tom O'Reilly

After John Jeffrey had 'dropped and badly damaged' the Calcutta Cup: "It will now have to be called the Calcutta Shield." - Bob Munro (1988) The truth is he was seen drop kicking the Calcutta cup down Rose Street in Edinburgh (no beer involved...honest) after beating England earlier in the day....fact.

[niggle]

I was told a story by someone complaining that most seats at Twickenham are block booked by corporates. At the start of one match between England and New Zealand, one bright spark (champagne glass in hand) was heard to ask the question:

"Right. Which ones are the All Blacks?"

[shasta]

Just remembered one I heard at a Rugby League match at the WACA ground about 10 years ago. Still gives me a chuckle

For those who didn't know; Perth once hosted a League team called the Western Reds. Lots of smart-arse Queenslanders reckon we've so many of their boys that our Rugby team should still be called that

Anyhoo - they had a player called Chris Ryan- long blond hair, "Surfie Type" nicknamed Fabio. Naturally he was a bloody winger.

One night there was about 5 or 10 minutes to go and the Reds were only a couple of points behind. Their fly half, Scotty Wilson, was pretty handy and spotted an overlap on Fabio's wing. Threw a beautiful double cut-out straight onto Ryans chest. He dropped it 10 yards out with the line wide open. We were on the little hill next to the Lillee/Marsh stand and it happenned right in front of us. The silence was deafening when some bloke down the front yells.....

" BET YER WOUDNA DROPPED THE F@CKER IF IT HADDA BEEN A F@CKING HANBAG, FABIO"

You could hear it for miles and the whole place, minus Fabio, erupted in laughter.

[The EnForcer]

" BET YER WOUDNA DROPPED THE F@CKER IF IT HADDA BEEN A F@CKING HANBAG, FABIO"

You could hear it for miles and the whole place, minus Fabio, erupted in laughter.

That's bloody funny!

[The EnForcer]

Greg Growden today in his article on drop goals on Rugby Heaven.

Talking about Chris Latham......"He is now Australia's best midfield kicker by far, followed closely by Matt Giteau."

[shasta]

He he. No surprises there, Growden dribbling shite again :-)

[Goldmember]

“To be the world champions you have to win the World Cup. That’s the reality.” Bob Skinstad.

[Jehna]

"Forwards are the gnarled and scarred creatures who have a propensity for running into and bleeding all over each other." - Peter Fitzsimmons

"He's turning a blind ear" - On referee Jon Kaplan ignoring on-field player complaints

An old man to John Eales - "Are you with the wiggles?"

[chook]

...thats why refs keep making calls against us .. "what? you think you're an architect and you're better than me?" bonkdaddy in reference to the mistreatment of The Fuse