Shipwrecked!~!~!!~!!~!
George finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself
on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life - until the boat sank.

He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no
other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and
coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day
when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to
him. In disbelief,
he asks her, 'Where did you come from? How did you get
here?'

'I rowed over from the other side of the island,' she says. 'I landed here when my cruise ship sank.'

'Amazing,' he says. 'You were really lucky to
have a rowboat wash up with you.'

'Oh, this?' replies the woman. 'I made the
rowboat out of raw material found on the is land. I whittled
the oars from gum tre e branches; I wove the bottom from
palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree.'

'But ... but ... that's impossible,' stutters
George. 'You had no tools or hardware. How did you
manage?'

'Oh, no problem,' replies the woman. 'On the
South side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of
alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain
temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile
iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the
hardware.' George is stunned.

'Let's row over to my place,' she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a
small wharf.

As George looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the
boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite
bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up
the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he can only
stare ahead, dumbstruck.

As they walk into the house, she says casually,
'It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down,
please. Would you like to have a drink?'

'No, no thank you,' he says, still dazed.
'Can't take any more coconut juice.'

'It's not coconut juice,' the woman replies.
'I built a still. How about a Pina Colada?'

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and
they sit down on her hand-woven couch to talk. After they
have exchanged their stories, the woman announces,
'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.
Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor
upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.'

No longer questioning anything, George goes into the
bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone
handle. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge are
fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.
'WOW! This woman is amazing,' he muses, 'what
next?'

When he returns, she greets him wearing 'nothing but
vines' strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of
gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering
closer to him, 'We've been out here for a really
long time. I know you've been lonely. There's
something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now,
something you've been longing for all these months. You
know...'

She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what
he's hearing!

'You mean ...', he swallows excitedly, 'We can
watch the Force games from here?