Rusty, but still a great result

[travelling_gerry]

Rusty, but still a great result

• By Cameron Shepherd
• From: The Sunday Times
• April 10, 2010 6:51PM

AFTER everything that's gone down this season, it's great to be getting the reward for the hard work everyone has put in.



To be part of the win and contribute after such a long time out was extremely satisfying.


I'd be lying if I didn't say there was a bit of trepidation on my behalf coming into the game - but all that went out the window as soon as I crossed the white line.


It wasn't the prettiest game to watch and I was probably a bit rusty, but any match where the team can score six tries and end up on the right side of the scoreline is alright by me. This is probably a good opportunity to apologise to Benny McCalman after I stole the ball from the big man to score my second try!


We came to New Zealand to do a job and it's only half done. We'll celebrate the performance, but are under no illusions that we have a lot of ground to catch up this season.




The boys will have a few quiet drinks and from tomorrow we'll turn our attention to the Blues in Auckland.


It's a tough proposition, but the confidence is high and we're staying in Queenstown for a few more days, which can't help but inspire you.


The mountains surrounding the town provide a spectacular backdrop.


It's an amazing perk of playing professional rugby that we get to visit places like this. The only hard part has been the recovery sessions in Lake Wakatipu.


The water can't be much warmer than 10 degrees. When you land in that water every sense in your body explodes, and for a second you're not sure if you'll be able to take your next breath.


To get somewhere close, try filling your bath tub with ice and cold water and jumping in!


The team is broken up into people who only walk in waist-deep and those who jump in off the wharf.


Then there's Sam Wykes. The big man didn't even want to go in ankle-deep, but a word or two from Sports Science manager Haydn Masters convinced Wyksey to venture in but the fuzz (hair) definitely didn't get wet!


Breakfast on Friday was also a bit of fun when we woke to find a team review in the local paper by former Wallabies kicking coach Ben Perkins.


Having known Ben for years, his unmistakable style was evident in his reviews of both sides: eclectic is probably the best way to sum it up.


http://www.perthnow.com.au/sport/rus...-1225852213584

[travelling_gerry]

Here is the said article by Ben Perkins. Very entertaining.

http://gotheforce.com/uploaded/195/1270943038.pdf

[laura]

Good article by Sheps and Ben Perkins..would be good if Perkins' did player reviews for all Force matches & then they got published in linebreak or the papers over here. His reviews definately make a nice change from the one line player reviews in the media we get.

[PerthGirl]

What is Ben Perkins doing over in Queenstown? Is he not coaching anymore?

[travelling_gerry]

Perkins wields poison pen against Super also-rans, then wisely takes flight

GREG GROWDEN
April 12, 2010

MONDAY MAUL

If you're wondering why the Western Force and Highlanders attacked each other as if they were in a caged fight on Saturday, it appears we have to blame one of the best agents provocateurs going around: Ben Perkins.

Ben Perkins? Some background is necessary. Describing Perkins as one of the most eccentric characters to ever be involved with the Wallabies is an understatement.

When Eddie Jones and John Connolly were in charge of the Wallabies, Perkins was the team's kicking coach, and became a close confidant to many Test players. He was the man who labelled Matt Giteau ''Kid Dynamite'' and Lote Tuqiri ''The Dark Shark''.

A former AFL and rugby player, Perkins was renowned for his pre-Test match rev-ups. High-profile Wallabies repeatedly called on him to give them a psych-up session before big games. These sessions usually involved the players sitting in a room to receive a brutal old-school harangue. They were hilarious. In one session before an Ireland Test in Dublin, filmed by Mat Rogers, Perkins castigated a Wallabies forward by describing him as being as timid as Ronald McDonald; it was classic put-down comedy.

Perkins once presented close mate John Eales with his business card. It read: ''Ben Perkins. Freelance Development Consultant.'' Beneath was listed his accomplishments: ''Horse racing tipster. Sports journalist. Short Story Writer. Goal Kicking Coach. Rugby Coach. Cricket Coach. Movie and Theatre Critic. Be Grateful Instructor. True Religion Raconteur. Poetry and Satire Recitals. Golf Caddie and Mentor. Eventual Ballet Film Maker. Speed Reading Teacher. Horse Racing and Football Confidant. Gambling Commission Agent. Part time Palm Reader. Eventual TV Presenter.''

For the past two-and-a-half years Perkins has been living in Queenstown, playing golf, punting on anything that moves, and being the ''oddball Super 14 columnist'' for the local paper, the Mountain Scene.

It is out-there copy and Perkins does not hold back. As it was a big week for New Zealand's most picturesque city, with the Force and Highlanders in town, Perkins knew he had to step up to the mark. And he did, succeeding in irritating all, with pungent pen-pictures.

Highlanders prop Clint Newland was described as ''Our Clunt has been around this losing team a fair while now. Like most hunters, he needs a gun to be effective''. Steven Setephano, their No.8, was ''perhaps better suited to professional wrestling … [he] lacks passion for defence and goes missing in attack''.

Hooker Jason Rutledge was ''the human rat'', with ''hunched shoulders and old-cowboy running style''. Prop Bronson Murray was a ''hobo type'', who ''next time he jumps a train, he will probably find himself fruit picking''.

The Force didn't get off lightly, with ''defensively passive'' prop Tim Fairbrother being ''an outcast Kiwi … who plods around the field''. Winger Dane Haylett-Petty was an ''inexperienced lightweight'', while utility back Mark Bartholomeusz had a ''ridiculously receding hairline and is looking for sponsorship for that space''. Second-rower Tom Hockings had a ''pronounced forehead'', but was ''capable of making a girl's eyes pop''.

Perkins's prose had antagonised the two teams and it showed during the match. Newland was soon belting the living daylights out of his opposing prop, Pek Cowan, and both were sent to the sin bin.

In the sheds later, many players wanted to know Perkins's Queenstown address. Well here's some inside knowledge: Perkins is returning home to Brisbane tomorrow. He's planning to be a rails bookie at Eagle Farm, and may even end up as the Gold Coast AFL team's kicking coach.

The Highlanders won't miss him, but Queenstown will.

http://www.smh.com.au/rugby-union/un...=1270996614229

[hertryk]

I thought the Ben Perkins article was a tad "tongue in cheek"...and funny....was it meant to be serious ....really??? I doubt if the players had even read it....