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Well, the heading's an exaggeration, but I've got your attention.
This is my mid season assessment as to where the clubs presently are.
Nedlands, Cottesloe and Associates have depth over all grades and should all have one or two teams in the finals. Palmyra has less depth, but has a more exciting and unpredictable first grade squad.
I'll come back to the serious contenders shortly. I'll now turn to those that won't be there at the end of the second round in first grade.
Kalamunda.
An improvement over last season, but really, this is a club that hasn't the funds, the administration, or the courage to take the next step. It was not prepared to put in any investment in key quality players and has no junior program to fall back on. It's recruitment drive has concentrated on quantity, on recruiting anyone showing a passing interest if they came from NZ or the Islands, and they have got exactly what they paid for.
Wanneroo.
The fact they are still desperately attempting to recruit disaffected players from other clubs' second grades says it all. A couple of lumps of lard in the front row doesn't make a team, and unfortunately for them, that's all they have. A coach who is now distracted by state representative duties won't help either.
University.
How a club that has everything laid on for it, pays for nothing, has access to an endless stream of impressionable young players who have been trained for them by other clubs and private schools, can manage to be such perennial failures, is beyond me.
Western Suburbs.
They know how to do it, and have been the state's most successful poachers since their inception. What they fail to understand is that those mercenaries that jump on just as quickly jump off, and when the money dries up, nobody wants to know them.
Come back when you can afford to buy some quality.
Rockingham.
The Black Knights of rugby. No thrashing is more than a flesh wound to them. Until they learn all about the real world they will continue to be the whipping boys of the competition.
Perth Bayswater.
Still living in 2007, dreaming of the second coming, and doing naff all to ensure it happens. How a club with such potential can allow itself to be subsumed by a culture of deluded indulgence is also beyond me.
Now for the serious business.
Nedlands.
Top administration, close involvement with RugbyWA, finger always on the pulse, and a remarkable ability to convince others that the biggest dunghill in WA rugby is the place to be. Good luck to them. They have the players to take it out, if their coach does't have a rush of blood and convinces himself that it is all his doing.
Cottesloe.
Smug, odious and totally oblivious to the fact that nobody, apart from the RugbyWA hierarchy, have a kind word for them. Still, for the moment, they have a competent player pool, particularly in their backs, and especially concentrated on the skills of Cloete, and they seem to have the support of the majority of the referees. However, unless RugbyWA again give them dispensation to recruit their pick of the Australian squad for the finals, they will find it difficult to advance much further than the four.
Associates
Wonderful club to be involved with if you are from the Western Suburbs, walk around with a carrot or cracker perpetually stuck up your arse, and happen to speak Greek. Basic set of players. Well disciplined squad. Competent ex player training to be a coach in charge, but they lack the je ne sais quoi to be real contenders this year.Get young Zak Holmes back and we'll talk about it.
Palmyra.
Recruited desperately from the top end of town this year and spent squillions. Had a good financial base to start from, and got the best they could get, even in the coaching department. Trouble is, they are yet to become a team, and don't even look remotely like having any cohesion. Looks like a toss up though between them and Cottesloe as to who will be beaten by Nedlands in the grand final.