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*walks up to the microphone and clears throat*
Well it's that time of week again... everyone's very favourite time of the weak... yes you guessed it... CHAT REPORT TIME!
That time where those present in chat night the previous night get to reminisce about the good times, and for those of you who weren't there, you get to see what you missed and realise you need to get in on that action. (See you next week. )
Chat wasn't as busy as it was last week which is good news for me as it means it won't take me as long to write the report, but bad news for everyone else because it means more people missed out! Poor little lambs.
Those who found the time to stumble into chat were:
Beav
Badger
Blueandblack
En_forcer
Exile
BDGF
Jress (Chooks awesome new way of saying Jess)
FT
Chook
Swee
Jargan
Neo
GIGS
Pieter
Coach
Gerry (of the travelling persuasion)
TQ1
Jono (good to see you this week!)
Maelkann
No.8
Jazza
Daisy
Chat topic: Have you signed the petition yet?
Well? Have you? If not, get to it!
The night started with a bit of housekeeping between Beav and Badger (hey that has a nice ring to it don't you think?) as they just made sure the rules were working just to make sure if any riff raff rocked up, the automatic swear-o-boot would be ready for them.
The first topic of conversation is alcohol... is anyone surprised? Not me.
Badger's uni is selling $5 pints of guinness and B&B's homebrew is coming along nicely.
People start rolling in at a steady pace as we talk of potential Force spankings this weekend. Not eachother, no quokkas... but the Lions sure are going to get it this week! All this talk of spanking seems to send Chook into some sort of bizarre trance. (see memorable mutterings for a quote. )
I announce 'is it just me or did things get weird all of a sudden?' with some unfortunate timing as I hit enter just as Jargan rolls in. My bad. I promise I was talking about Chooks trance. Though now I think of it...
GIGS, the dirty stinking thread hijacker arrives to a barrage of my water bombs! This event inspires a outrageous, all hell breaks loose water fighting war in which the mighty Neo Girl and myself take on the less mighty GIGS and friends. I got pwned when Ex attacked with the dreaded typewriter torture and GIGS hurls a few flour bombs my way. My weakness! Though the tables turn when Swee calls on her firefighting helicopter and I know when to throw in the towel! I Speaking of towels, my fellow water warrior Neogirl hands me a towel to use to dry myself off. Seizing the opportunity, I instead curl the towel up and start whipping the heels of GIGS! He knows when he's been outplayed. Jess 1, GIGS 0. Actually given the amount of successful thread hijackings... I would say it's probably Jess 1, GIGS 1,000,000. GIGS is a thread terrorist and I'm a thread Nazi... apparently.
Neogirl seems to be having an identity crisis as her name changes about 5 times. You don’t need to change a thing sweetheart. We love you just the way you are. Especially now you're going to be in the new Linebreak magazine! Famous!
Lots of talk about the Innforcers tour of Queensland in April. All punters attending are pretty excited. There is an open invitation to Exile's famous beer garden and I'm sure many of us will take him up on that offer! It looks pretty fantastic!
The En_forcer claims he's discovered the missing X factor for TWF. That missing ingredient is a boys only thread for showing eachother photos of hot women. I think the Saloon bar is enough and that sometimes women enjoy 'rating the babes' too. I'm pretty much just told to go and clean and cook. EnForcer goes fishing with more sexist comments as the bait and NeoGirl and I fall for it hook, line and sinker. (pun intended) I’ll go do the cleaning and the cooking as soon as I finish doing this chat report. That’s what a good woman would do right? Right?
*shakes head*
B&B keeps all the punters happy with an endless supply of vbeverages (of which I think I had far too many) and even whips out a coffee for Swee when she too decides she had too many. That vbeverage cart is magical! It even had chuppa chups! Magical I tells ya!
Jargan can't quite work out where Dunsborough is and is beyond bitterly disappointed when he discovers it's a 4 hour drive to a destination with no Foxtel to watch the Force game! Situation critical! Someone get that man a friend down south who has fox! anyone?
People start talking about the petition again and compete to see who has the most signatures. Swee appears to be winning with a wopping 270! You keep up the good work. There's no shame in putting the rest of us to shame. It's all for a good cause.. the best cause!
Everyone decides the Blue Crew is lame... but we knew that already.
Chook sure has some 1st class stirring skills when he leaves with a quick goodbye and appoints everyone present as Junior Tah supporters. Needless to say this grossly upset everyone! But before anyone jumped out of the closest window, GIGS reminds us all that Forceness is everlasting, but Tahness comes off in the shower with soap and water. phew! crisis overted!
I then do something terrible, and ask if anyone is watching the basketball. Turns out, yes! We all agree basketball is weird, but gotta have Perth pride! Luckily the Wildcats took out a close one. Glad I wasn't watching basketball for nothing! Thanks to the lovely travelling_gerry who provided updates when OMC made me put the ABC on with 4 mins to go. You're a treasure.
The ideas man that is our Coach, decides we should create a website dedicated to the TWF petition and everyone has a shot at trying to come up with an appropriate and catchy web address. Flame was the winner with weneedcorners.com. LOVE it!
And then all hell broke loose. Coach started handing out @s left right and centre and all the power went to everyone's heads! (mostly mine). Jazza got booted by Jargan for a laugh then I removed everyone's @'s so I was the only one who had one. Thought I'd been really clever until Beav did some specky little trick, got his back, then booted me for being power hungry. Guilty as charged. I got given my @ back after I promised I wouldn't let it happen again. Just don't know what got into me. hehe.
Following all the craziness, people start logging off and heading to the land of nod and that's exactly where this chat reporter is heading. Oh as soon as I finish all the cooking and cleaning of course En_forcer.
Memorable Mutterings:
Chook: 'thats a bit nipply'
Chook: 'you like that you silly Lions? You want some more? *spank* Yeah you like that don you , you kinky Lions, here;s some more *spank* and here's cousin spank coming over for a visit *spank* yeah you dig that you dirty Lions saffa weirdos *spank*'
Chook: 'salty shockolate spheroids!'
Jazza: 'i hope i dont see my teachers at the beach that would reck the strike'
Daisy: 'Wreck'
Flamethrower: 'Spelling Tips from a cow Jazza. Hahaha'
Daisy: Hey Mr Beaver. Why did you kick me last week??
Mtbeaver: cause you're a freaking cow. Thats why
Daisy: Arsehole
GIGS20: And that's why cows get kicked!
Daisy: Kick a teacher. Slack bastards
*turns off microphone, takes a bow and disappears in a cloud of smoke*