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Thread: HIRDYS LIE - * SUNG TO THE TUNE OF AMERICAN PIE *

  1. #1
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    HIRDYS LIE - * SUNG TO THE TUNE OF AMERICAN PIE *

    A long, long time ago
    I can still remember how Shane Charters used to make me smile
    And I knew if I had my chance
    That I could make my players dance
    And maybe they'd be stronger for a while

    But 2013 made me shiver
    With every paper that was delivered
    Barratt on my doorstep
    I couldn't take one more step

    I can't remember if I cried
    When I read about how they proved I lied
    But something touched me deep inside
    The day my fiction, died

    [Chorus]
    So bye-bye, to my Essendon Lie
    Took my Bombers to the top, and built up our pride
    And my good old boys injectin’ another peptide
    Singin' "No-one will ever know that we lied
    No-one will ever know that we lied"

    [Verse 1]
    Did you write the book of push & shove
    And do you have faith in Demetriou above
    If the AFL tells you so?
    Now do you believe in 9604,
    And how drugs save your football soul
    And can you teach me how to inject real slow?

    Well, you know that I was in love with Dank
    Since I saw him injectin’ out the back
    We both beefed up our tans
    To show off to all our fans

    I was a lonely rookie coachin' buck
    With a Brownlow medal and a million bucks
    But I knew I was out of luck
    The day they found I lied

    [Chorus]
    I started singin' bye-bye, to my Essendon Lie
    Took my Bombers to the top, but then our hamstrings died
    And my good old boys injectin’ another peptide
    Singin' "Hope they never find out we lied
    Hope they never find out we lied"

    [Verse 2]
    Now for ten games we've been out on our own
    With hidden texts on my mobile phone
    But that's not how it used to be
    When the rumours came that we weren’t clean

    When in truth we were as high as James Dean
    “But the drugs came from Dank, not me”
    And while me, the king, was counting cash
    ASADA found my hidden stash

    The courtroom was adjourned
    Until the ASADA verdict was returned
    And while Sam Newman read a book from FARC
    The media stakeout in the park
    And we injected in the dark
    The day our dreams died

    [Chorus]
    We were singin' bye-bye, to my Essendon Lie
    Took my Bombers to the top, but no-one knew why
    And my good old boys injectin’ another peptide
    Singin' "Do you think that the media has spied?
    Do you think that the media has spied?"

    [Verse 3]
    Helter skelter in a winter swelter
    The wheels fell off in another belter
    Eighth place now and falling fast
    Another player lying on the grass

    A hamstring sprung trying a short pass
    Another player on the sidelines in a cast
    Now the premiership air is sweet perfume
    While Meatloaf sings an awful tune

    We’d all love the September dance
    Oh, but we’ll never get the chance
    'Cause if the players try to take the field
    Will ASADA refuse to yield?
    Will we ever really know what was revealed
    The day my dream died?

    [Chorus]
    We were singin' bye-bye, to my Essendon Lie
    Took my Bombers to the top, but then David Evans cried
    And my good old boys injectin’ another peptide
    Singin' "ASADA’s looking and I’d better go hide
    ASADA’s looking and I’d better go hide."

    Oh, and there we were all in one place
    An entire season lost in space
    With no chance left to start again
    So come on, Jobe be nimble, Jobe be quick

    Watson sat “On the Couch” real quick
    ('Cause Roosy is the Demon’s only friend)
    Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
    My hands were clenched in fists of rage
    No angel born in Hell
    Could break that Roosy spell

    And as the ratings climbed high into the night
    To light the sacrificial rite
    I saw Roosy laughing with delight
    That’s when, they knew, I lied

    He was singin' bye-bye, to my Essendon Lie
    Took my Bombers to the top, but our success was a lie
    And my good old boys injectin’ another peptide
    Singin' "Now our premiership dreams are fried
    Now our premiership dreams are fried "

    I asked my girl who hates the Blues
    And I asked her for some happy news
    But she just smiled and turned away
    I went down to the AFL store
    Where they all loved me years before

    But the man there said that finals, we wouldn't play
    And in Bay 13, the Bombers screamed
    The Magpies cried and the Hawks all dreamed
    But not a word was spoken
    The servers all were broken

    And the three men I admire most
    The Demetriou, The Dank and the Charters Ghost
    They caught the last train for the coast
    The day they’d found I’d lied

    And they were singin' bye-bye, to my Essendon Lie
    Took my Bombers to the top, but then our hamstrings died
    And my good old boys injectin’ another peptide
    Singin' "I can’t believe they found out we lied
    About ever having seen a peptide”

    [Chorus]
    They were singin' bye-bye, to my Essendon Lie
    Took my Bombers to the top, but then our hamstrings died
    And my good old boys injectin’ another peptide
    Singin' "I can’t believe they found out we lied”

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    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

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    Brilliant have to admit I have taken that and used as a face book status update.

    Sure to get a rise out of a few people I know who are die hard bombers supporters

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