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TEAM OF THE WEEK
Mitchell Johnson (c). The first non-wicketkeeper to score a century from No.8 in the batting order for Australia since Gary Gilmour in 1977. Speaking of whom, how is the great Gary Gilmour these days? Can someone report in, please?
Bryce McGain. In just 18 overs in his Test debut, was hit for 17 fours and eight sixes, finishing with 0-149, the second-worst economy rate in an innings in Test history, and yet - let's not forget - only a little worse than Shane Warne's Test debut figures of 1-150.
Andrew Symonds. Another week, another drunken episode, this one while with his Queensland teammates, all of it while Mitchell Johnson shows that the position of Australian all-rounder has been filled - and by a much nicer bloke.
Steve Bucknor. The famous Test cricket umpire from the Windies retires after 128 Tests, the first of which was in 1989.
Shane Warne. We always thought he was good, but the fact that since his retirement the Australian team has tried MacGill, Hogg, Hauritz, Krejza, White, Casson and McGain in an effort to find a replacement for him is an indication of just how good he was.
Sydney Swans. Open their season tonight against St Kilda. Rah!
Trent Copeland and Steven Green. The two first-grade bowlers for St George have both taken more than 50 wickets for the season, the first time that has happened "Tiger" O'Reilly and Ross Longbottom did it in 1944-45 season.
The NRL. TFF hears that when approached recently to help a not-for-profit organisation called Ability Options - which provides a range of services for people with intellectual disabilities - the league blokes couldn't have been more co-operative.
Hazem El Masri. After the Bulldogs and Penrith had fought each other to a 26-26 standstill after 79 minutes, the winger was presented with the chance to break the deadlock with a kick from the sideline and … nailed it!
Ireland rugby team. Won their first grand slam in the Six Nations since 1948.
WHAT THEY SAID
JEREMY CLARKSON begins his column in London's Sunday Times: "Over the years, I have argued that [soccer] is a stupid game in which 22 overpaid nancy boys with idiotic hair run around a field attempting to kick an inflated sheep's pancreas into some netting while an audience of several thousand van drivers beat one another over the head with bottles and chairs." Sadly, after that promising start, he then went on to defend the game.
Billy Slater goes for gold in the Michael Clarke award category, after signing with Melbourne Storm for another three years: "Melbourne's a great place, my family enjoys it here, we've lots of friends here … and Billy Slater likes it here." Gold! Gold! Gold for Australia!
Condoleeza Rice, the former US Secretary of State, addressed NFL owners this week, and told them they must expand the game internationally: "We need to find countries with a mass sports culture. Countries where they play either rugby or Australian Rules Football or soccer." That means we're in! No, hang on, she hasn't finished … "Not places where they play cricket. I would not go there." Oh. I think we're out. Whatever …
English World Cup cricketer Nicola Shaw, originally left out of the side until an injury to another player gave her a start in the final: "I started the day crying, and finished the day crying, but we won a World Cup in between so it's all right."
English cricket board chairman Giles Clarke on the women's World Cup victory: ''This is very exciting for cricket as a sport. Half the nation are female, and we're actually beginning to take advantage of that, and not just ask them to make tea."
Jeff Kennett on why AFL is the best of the Australian football codes: "Because of its connection with community, because of the quality of its administration, and the quality of the way in which the players accept responsibility for their own behaviour."
Richmond coach Terry Wallace tells Channel 7's Sunrise his thoughts on Ben Cousins's return to the AFL on Thursday night: "I expect him to go out there and have a little crack …" OK, take two!
Wayne Carey when inducted into the North Melbourne Hall of Fame: ''I'd like to offer my apologies and to say I'm sorry. I'm sincerely sorry for all of the pain I've caused over the past years to so many people in so many ways."
Greg Norman on receiving tennis lessons from his new wife, Chris Evert: "Not only do I have a great instructor but I also get to sleep with her when the lesson's over." Can someone shut him up?
http://www.smh.com.au/news/sport/you...e#contentSwap2
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