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A Scottish man walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scottish man shouts
" Awa ye feel hoor thats full O coos Sharn " ( Translated: Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s hi t.)
The man shouts back
"I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you".
The Scottish man shouts back
"Use both hands, you'll get more in."