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15 things.........
15 things that you wish you could say out loud at work..
1: I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
2: How about never? Is never good for you?
3: I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4: I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
5: Thank you, we are all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
6: If I throw a stick, will you leave?
7: Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
8: Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
9: I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being more intelligent.
10: Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
11: If you have something to say, raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.
12: I’m too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
13: Don’t let your mind wander; it’s too small to be let out on its own.
14: You are as pretty as a picture, I’d really like to hang you.
15: Do you hear that? That’s the sound of no-one caring!
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I say quite a few of those things out loud at work. People think I'm joking.
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this has now become my checklist of things to say at work before the end of the week
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i said number 3 today actually.
was in the middle of pre-start as well.
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40 things to say at work
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.
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Did #23 come from the Force changerooms circa Brumbies '08???
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