Joining Club Rugby / The Education of SeanWF - Part 3

Having survived your introduction to fitness training, and having displayed the requisite propensity towards debauchery by entering the club bar after your first training run, you will be on your way towards taking the next major step forward in your rugby development.

This will not occur for several weeks however, during which time you will have developed a strong personal bond with Stretch, having taken him home after each training run at the request of the coach and the bar manager, who will assist you by pouring Stretch into your car for that purpose on a regular basis.

The weakling too, will become, if not your friend, at least someone whom you will greatly appreciate by his voluntarily assuming the lowest place in the club pecking order in lieu of your good self.

The two jolly fat men will however remain somewhat enigmatic. They will speak civilly enough to you, and will be able to converse easily on all manner of subjects, but you will sense a feeling of unease and discomfort in their presence, as if in some way they were members of a secret under-rugby Freemasonery, to which only jolly fat men with no necks can belong.

But I digress.

Untill now the entire fourth grade training squad will have consisted of five participants, including yourself, plus the coach.This is about to change. The coach will announce that at the next session the emphasis will be on ball skills.

At this session the number of players will magically double to eight or ten and you will have the pleasure of being introduced to not one, but three or four Junior AllBlacks.

These individuals are all NewZealanders, all work at the local meatworks , call each other Bro and have a secret system of introductory handshakes which they exchange with each other whenever they are apart for more than thirty minutes.

Contrary to what their appellation might conjure in your mind, these players, whilst having a modicum of knowledge of the rules of the game (and a few can even run and pass the ball, but never tackle) are not the same, and should never be mistaken for, your actual AllBlack. A Junior Allblack is, apparently, the name given by Maori tribal custom to the most useless rugby player associated with the tribe.

After two or three futher ball skill sessions the coach will announce that the first pre season game will take place on Saturday week, and by so announcing he will have ensured that the next training session will have thirty two participants, including another eight Junior AllBlacks, three under nineteen state representatives (although now in their dotage) and five Currie Cup trialists.

You and your squad will now be ready to take the next big leap forward in your quest for the Holy Rugby Grail.

And I will instruct you futher in that regard next time we meet.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5