Ralph, or insert appropriate name.......

[Flamethrower]

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.'
Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout.....
'Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting in the bed!'

[tdevil]

Priceless

[NeoGirl]

Ha Ha Ha.

[JediKnight]

One from personal experience, FT?

[Flamethrower]

Nah mate. When I'm that drunk I don't make it to the bed. I'm sure you know a name that would fit better

[.X.]

Reminds me of a true story that happened to a boss of mine a while back - he and his family went away on holidays for a month - and he got a young single guy in to house mind, when he got back he discovered a wet patch in the bottom of the main bedroom wardrobe - turned out the young bloke got drunk one night, fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet in the En suite. There is no en suite in the bosses house - just some very wet shoes.