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Morning punters, here is the Friday edition and throughly updated.
Honour Roll
Exile
BlueandBlack
Sagerian
Travelling Gerry
Egan
Em-forcer
Pruc
Shaun
Coach
Happy
Burgs
The Enforcer
Jazza
Lonzy
Beav
Evie
Jedi Knight
Terri
Knock on the door at 7.12pm. Let in da house...Wtf, wall to wall punters! A cover charge could be a little earner here! Im putting it down to Happy re-opening his notorious Bar and Grill. Magners by the truckload from mine hostGoing to be a good nite.
Knocking back my first bevvie and turn around and see Tef. Accidentally drop my pint glass.Jesus, hes been out walking the dog and decides to pop in. Happy slides down a Guinness to the sweaty sock. Sweet. Well ill be stuffed and burnt, theres Sage in da house, havent seen him around for awhile.This is going to be a fun night.
Crew cranks up, waffling on about what everybody had for dinner. Some ejiot was talking about the price of bananas! Weird $hit indeed. Gerry had a equine curry for a change. Ive personally had what Paddy shot at .....sweet f..k all. Could eat a small refugee through a cane chair mind you.
Theres bloody Egan imbibing on a Magners near the gents toilet. Beav is allowed in, only passing through he said and not even offered a fire engine from Happy. Hes gobbing off and the last i see of him he was out back washing Exiles car.
Happy is having a small domestic moment. He discovered a particularly nasty stain on his sofa. Asks for advice, and gets $hitloads from fellow punters. Some nasty piece of work suggested getting forensics in, ie matching DNA profiles etc.
Every one is cruising. Great vibe happening. Gerry our best mate is reamed by those bloody Paki/Indian bookies. They have invaded his personal space. Generous odds abound for the quick and the dead. This week im quick and get on.
Our roving Asian correspondent Jedi Knight lobs up. He is battling a severe alcolhol addiction and is on day relase from Bens clinic. He is looking like
death. Hes whingeing and no bugger is basically listening. Chopper Read who has been staying over at Happys gaff suggested to Jedi in the nicest possible manner........to harden the f..k up!Jedi is now as pale as a pommy tourist and realises he has parked his car in the handicapped zone out front
and promptly leaves. Good luck confronting all your personal demons Jedi and i mean that most sincere.
Not surprisingly, no post match discussion after lasts week footy lesson from a sublime Canterbury Crusaders. After being comprehensibly outplayed and coached, this game has been put into the vault and never to see the light of day again hopefully. Onwards and upwards this week against the Waikato Chiefs in that Kiwi hotspot Hamilton. We are confident of a strong result here as we need to to get our season back on track.
That Weasley dude Pruc bounces up to the bar and requests a beverage. Happy who has been in more strife than Brick Bradford with those liquor and licencing nazis needs to see some ID. Pruc is doing his lolly so he is given a half Magners to shut him up. He divulges that his rowing mates preferred tipple is Emu ExportMany of the older punters start reliving painfull childhood memories of this nasty beverage and its side effects, ie fighting,jail time, divorces etc. Pruc please dont stuff up your future, cease drinking this battery acid now.
On a lighter note Burgs is thinking of dragging out the .50 calibre Browning again. Mice population is starting to build again and this isnt on.
He is also having a caniption over his dodgy satelite dish and is not a happy camper.
Our Edinburgh correspondent Em-forcer has put a plea for a possible spare ticket for the Scotland v NZ game at Murrayfield on the 23.09.07. If anybody can help Em, please pm her.
Im starting to wind down as the night starts drawing to the end. Good to see new blood in da house(Tef) and the return of old blood(Sage).Now there is a marriage made in heaven.
Bouquets
To our chat ladies of course.
Our kind and generous bookie Gerry( give my love to Gai mate)
Brickbats
Coach, this poop $hit must cease please. Its doing my head in. Remember that immortal track from Devo....Freedom of Speech?
Quote of the night.
Em-forcer, my drought was ended by finding a oasis!
God speed
Tlh
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