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Thread: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb at your school?

  1. #1
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    How many people does it take to change a lightbulb at your school?

    got this email today.. thought it was pretty funny..... and true!

    How many people does it take to change a lightbulb at your school?


    Applecross Senior High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to write to
    the Sunday Times about how she did it as well as any private school student.
    Or none because everyone was killed when the buildings fell apart.


    Aquinas - Two. One to mix the martinis and one to phone the electrician.


    Balcatta High - Four. One to order a Venetian chandelier from her cousin
    Roberto who owns a lighting warehouse and imports from the old country, one
    to arrange delivery cause his sister's husband Tony has an uncle whose mate,
    Angelo, has a truck, one to put the squeeze on his neighbour Dominic the
    electrician because he owes him a favour and one to make sure everything is
    done cash.


    Balga Senior High School - Five. One to change it and four to cruise the
    street for the perfect Puff Daddy style outfit to steal off someone to wear
    for the occasion.


    Bond Uni - Two. One to change it but only after the other one has found an
    interpreter to translate the English instructions.


    Bunbury Senior High - Five. One to change it, and four to go to Target and
    nick new flannelette shirts to wear for the occasion.


    Canning Vale College - none... coz the principal would say "NOT AT CVC!!"


    CBC Fremantle - None. They're all too drunk to notice.


    Cecil Andrews High - Nobody bothered to ask because nobody cares about
    Cecil Andrews.


    Central College of TAFE - 20. One to change the bulb, two to pop down to
    the markets to buy wool to make a macramé jacquard shade for it in the new
    season's colours, one to photograph the naked bulb in situ from 300 angles,
    three to arrange the art exhibition for the jacquard shade, the rest to make
    vapid comments and drink Great Western 'champagne' at the opening. Muresk
    Agricultural College - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to
    protest the globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter
    protest.


    Christ Church Grammar School - None. It's too hard to find a new globe with
    their Armani sunglasses on.


    Curtin Uni - Five. One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs
    changing, two to install it and one to write the computer programme that
    controls the switch, one to rig the vending machine


    Duncraig Senior High- All the emo's (so... like half the school...). To
    watch as the one with the tightest jeans and the worse hair tries to change
    the bulb and fails becoz he can't see thru the tears in his eyes and then to
    sit around in the dark strumming acoustic guitars and singing about the old
    one.


    Eastern Hills Senior High - Ten. One to change it and one to buy the hair
    gel to impress and ultimately lay the SwanView chicks, while the rest
    compete wiv da Christian Bruvvers for da turf Midland Station.


    Edith Cowan Uni - Eleven. One to change it and ten to share the experience.
    Emmanuel Catholic College - None. they're all too busy staring at the yr 10
    babe's g strings.


    Girrawheen Senior High School - Ten. One to change the bulb, two to
    negotiate a pay off to rival gangs to prevent anything going down during the
    change and the rest to stake out just in case.


    Gosnells High - 76. One person to throw a chair and break the bulb, one to
    be hit by the chair, one to call that guy a dickhead, one to stab the name
    caller, twelve aboriginals to start stabbing everyone in the class, thirty
    two police to control the aboriginals, eight paramedics to treat the
    injured, three to counsel the students, one replacement teacher, two
    security guards to secure the classroom, one to see the broken light bulb,
    three to hold up Corfield deli for a new globe, and one to replace the
    broken globe


    Governor Stirling Senior High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to
    figure out how to get high off the old one.


    Guildford Grammar - Two. One to change the bulb and one to crack under the
    pressure.


    Hale - Two. One to install the new bulb completely powered by testosterone
    and one to brag about it loudly.


    Hami High- None cant affort lightbulbs


    Iona Presentation College - Two. One to change the bulb and one to phone
    daddy to pay for it.


    John Curtin Senior High - Two. One student and one teacher but not before
    they make out.


    John Forrest Senior High- None. You don't need light globes on a cricket
    pitch


    Kelmscott High - Eighteen. One to notice it is broken, one to tell the
    teacher, one to write permission slips for the students, one to get a new
    bulb, one to get a chair, one to replace the bulb, four aboriginals to walk
    past and abuse the bulb changer, six students to swear at the aboriginals,
    one to suspend the abusers, and one to write the suspension notices


    Kwinana - Twenty. All Aboriginal. One to hijack the Transperth bus to get
    to the Hub to get one off of another whose just held up the store at
    knifepoint and stolen it, six to surround the bus from the Hub and 'smash'
    anyone who looks at them funny, whilst calling them 'white kents', one to
    bash the security guard who turns up at the school suspicious, and one to
    install the light globe. He then pisses on it and short circuits it, and
    another ten have to start the process again coz the others have nicked off
    into the bush with some cones.


    Lumen Christi College - none, they'd just ignore it and put it on the list
    for everything else to be fixed.


    Maddington Senior High School - fifteen. Ten are needed to break into a
    house steal a light bulb, TV, VCR, Playstation, stereo and anything else
    that fetches a good price from the local dealer, and five to break into the
    school change the light bulb and again steal anything of value.


    Mazenod - Three, one to get word around that the St Brigid's girls are
    talking about a screw, one to replace the bulb and one to pray that they get
    it done in time to beat the local public school boys to the St Brigid's
    party.


    Mercedes College - Five. One to change the bulb, two to reassure her that
    she doesn't look fat at the top of the ladder and two to circulate photos
    showing that she does.


    Mirrabooka High - None. That hole looks better in the dark.


    MLC - Four. One to smash the glass ceiling so that they can get to the top
    of the ladder, one to install the globe and two to check that it's brighter
    than PLC's.


    Murdoch Uni - Six. One to change the bulb and five to support its sexual
    orientation.


    New Norcia College - None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to
    the wall even if it means standing in the dark.


    Notre Dame Uni - None. They brought notes from their guardians excusing
    them.


    Penhros - Three. One to change it and two to make sure her hair ribbons are
    still in place afterwards.


    Perth College - Depends, could be one, could be ten, no one is prepared to
    commit unless the Guildford Grammar boys are definitely going to be there.


    Perth Modern - The entire school. One to remove the perfectly good globe,
    two to work out how to dispose of it so that it's dolphin safe, one to
    replace it with candles and the rest to sit on mats and express in words and
    music how they feel about the change.


    Perth Waldorf Steiner School - One, because she's a unique, self motivated,
    individual.


    PLC - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her


    Prendiville - Seven. One to insist it doesn't need to be on and the other 6
    to continue their deviant sexual behaviour.


    Rockingham Senior High - Six. Two to break into the store, one to steal the
    globe, one to install it and two to help him reach the socket using their
    pregnant tummies as steps.


    Safety Bay Senior High School- Eight. Six crazy girls dressed in black, and
    war paint on a mission. One doing the happy dance, one driving the getaway
    vehicle, one holding the spray-paint cans, one saying how light bulbs are
    dolphin friendly, two on the lookout, talking gibberish... then we run up &
    spray-paint the table, umm I mean change the light bulb... and two teachers
    to walk past saying Make sure u don't get any paint on those clothes."


    Scotch College - Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the
    imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it
    isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses.


    Somerville Baptist - None. It's Winthrop's building.


    St Brigid's College - Five, one to screw it in, two to laugh about the word
    screw and two to message the Mazenod boys about it.


    St Hilda's - One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff because
    there's no way she's going to do manual labour.


    St Mary's Anglican Girls School - The girl who answered the phone said she
    was pleased to be included with the other schools but probably would never
    know the answer because her Daddy had said to phone immediately if the
    maintenance man made any disgusting suggestions.


    St Stephens School- Everyone. A group in the toilets to break the light
    globe. The staff to announce the breakage in the daily notices. The P&F,
    student affairs and House Council to organise a fete to raise money for the
    bulb over a period of ten years with an added 'bulb levy' on school fees.
    The house captains to officiate the bulb changing ceremony in front of the
    school body at which a speech is made on how the change has affected the
    school and its spiritual journey.


    Swan Valley Christian School - Two. One human and God just to make sure the
    light shelters all in need, whether it be for food, shelter...blah blah
    f**kin blah...


    Swanview High - None. They're all down at Midland station having a ciggie.


    Thornlie Senior High School - go after someone else, stab them for the
    light bulb then defend it in your "territory".


    Trinity - Sixteen. One to send out the invitations, two to get the beer,
    one to change the bulb, one to buy Ralph Lauren polos for everyone, two to
    smuggle the chicks in and one to keep watch for the boarding master. The
    second eight just need to be ready to back them up.


    UWA - Fifteen. One to change it and the rest to walk around as if they own
    the place and talk it up.


    UWA Conservatorium - Forty Three. One to change the globe and a 42 piece
    orchestra to accompany him.WAAPA - Five. One to change the globe and four to
    do an interpretive dance about it.


    Wesley College - Seven. One to change it. The other six just stand around
    and pose.


    Willetton Senior High School - Five. One to change it, two to smoke pot
    when the lights are out, one to make sure its better than applecross and one
    to send a picture to the local paper. Or none cos the whole thing just
    burned down.


    Winthrop Baptist - Two. One to change the bulb and one to make sure that
    Somerville doesn't 'borrow' it

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  2. #2
    Champion Contributor tragic's Avatar
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    How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?
    1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

    1 to move it to the Lighting section

    2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

    7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

    5 to flame the spell checkers

    3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

    6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

    2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

    15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

    19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

    11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

    36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

    7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

    4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

    3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

    13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

    5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

    4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

    13 to say "do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

    1 to hijack the thread and ask how to change the horn

    1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

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  3. #3
    Veteran Contributor fulvio sammut's Avatar
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    When will the Sunday Times publish the article about Applecross SHS's successful change of light bulb?
    And, is it one of Malcolm Turnbull's power saving flouro bulbs?
    I have to ask, as I'm a Liberal supporter and I would be disappointed at anything less.

    Just kidding, Kev.

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    Last edited by fulvio sammut; 09-03-07 at 00:45. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

  4. #4
    Champion Skiza's Avatar
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    Heard a good one at my softball presentations last night and thought i'd share it even though i'm a Dockers supporter because i though it was pretty good.

    How many Dockers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None, because they can't reach the top of the ladder!

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  5. #5
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    Do chearleaders change light bulbs?

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    "Bloody oath we did!"

    Nathan Sharpe, Legend.

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    Legend Contributor Flamethrower's Avatar
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    I would volunteer to research that!!

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    Rookie JamesBrown's Avatar
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    Trinity - Sixteen. One to send out the invitations, two to get the beer,
    one to change the bulb, one to buy Ralph Lauren polos for everyone, two to
    smuggle the chicks in and one to keep watch for the boarding master. The
    second eight just need to be ready to back them up.

    Amen brother !!!!

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  8. #8
    (formerly known as Coach) Your Humble Servant Darren's Avatar
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    Much of this is still funny, except Tragic's post - that was just plain boring facts ...

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    Dear Lord, if you give us back Johnny Cash, we'll give you Justin Bieber.

  9. #9
    Immortal Contributor
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    So you would be the "1" in the final line then?

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    "Bloody oath we did!"

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    Champion Contributor tragic's Avatar
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  11. #11
    Immortal Contributor
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    yup, here it goes

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    "Bloody oath we did!"

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  12. #12
    Senior Player BaldCunus's Avatar
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    haha I went to Cecil Andrews and that probably sums it up perfectly!!!

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    Chris Laidlaw, New Zealand rugby player and sportswriter. Mud in Your Eye: A Worm's Eye View of the Changing World of Rugby (I 973).


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