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Thread: Happy St Pat's Day Begorrah To Be Sure To Be Sure

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    Veteran valzc's Avatar
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    Happy St Pat's Day Begorrah To Be Sure To Be Sure

    I’ve bought a new clock,’ boasted Clancy. ‘It goes eight days without winding.’
    ‘How long does it go if you do wind it?’ asked the barman.


    The drunk rang Dublin airport and inquired: ‘How long does it take to fly to New York from Dublin?’
    ‘Just a second,’ said the receptionist.
    Thank you,’ said the drunk and replaced the phone.


    ‘Wasn’t it tragic about my brother Michael,’ moaned Kelly. ‘Women and whiskey killed him.’
    ‘Is that so?’ sympathised O’Toole.
    ‘Yes, he couldn’t get either so he hung himself!’

    ‘Have you decided what to buy your missus for Christmas?’ asked McPhee.
    ‘Sure, she decided it for me,’ answered Kelly. ‘She said she wanted something with diamonds in it. So I’ve bought her a pack of cards!’


    The Irishman had been found guilty of murder and sentenced to the electric chair.
    ‘Have you any last request?’ asked the prison warden.
    ‘Yes,’ replied the prisoner. ‘Would you hold my hand when I go?’


    Sign in a London pub: ‘Happy hour – all you can drink for £1.’
    Murphy went up to the bar and said “ill have two quids’ worth please.’


    ‘Listen boys,’ said the football coach. ‘We’ve got to equalise before they score or we’ve got no chance!’

    ‘We’re in trouble today,’ said the coach. ‘Everything in our favour is against us!’


    ‘I’m a member of the Irish Secret Service,’ boasted Murphy. ‘And I don’t care who knows it!’

    ‘You lot are a complete disgrace,’ bellowed the sergeant major.
    ‘That’s the worst straight line I’ve ever seen. All fall out and come and take a look at it!

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  2. #2
    Veteran beige's Avatar
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    I can only hope Mr North has put up Ireland's game from the weekend to keep everyone at JB O'Reilly's entertained.

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  3. #3
    Immortal Contributor The InnFORCEr's Avatar
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    New Irish Viagra on the market....it's 99% fat free!

    At the moment Mr North is probably up to his eye balls in cash!!!!!

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    80 Minutes, 15 Positions, No Protection, Wanna Ruck?

    Ruck Me, Maul Me, Make Me Scrum!

    Education is Important, but Rugby is Importanter!

  4. #4
    Veteran beige's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The InnFORCEr View Post
    New Irish Viagra on the market....it's 99% fat free!

    At the moment Mr North is probably up to his eye balls in cash!!!!!
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  5. #5
    Immortal GIGS20's Avatar
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    Paddy and Mick are walking home from the pub when they see a bloke hanging his mate over the side of a bridge. A couple of minutes later the bloke over the side shouts and gets pulled up with a huge salmon in his hands.

    Liking the look of this new style of fishing the Irishmen decide to give it a try, Paddy goes first and he's over the side for a good 20 minutes, Thinking he's doing something wrong Mick has a go...this continues for three hours until Paddy screams for Mick to pull him up quickly.

    "What's up Paddy" says Mick "have you got a fish?"
    "No Mick but there's a bloody train coming!"

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    C'mon the

  6. #6
    Legend Contributor blueandblack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beige View Post
    I can only hope Mr North has put up Ireland's game from the weekend to keep everyone at JB O'Reilly's entertained.
    Not this time. He did it a few years (when Sparko was around), playing the Ireland v Scotland game about 6 times in a row. Ireland won that one, obviously.

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