Adam and Eve's Pets

[Darren]

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'

And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased . . . . . .

And Dog was happy. . . . .

And . . . . . . . .

. . . . . Cat didn't give a fuck one way or the other

[jazza93]

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long time.

The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying "Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick told the farmer "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."

Muldoon said "I'll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"

Father Patrick replied "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?"

[JediKnight]

I was telling my mates in the pub the old joke about "what do you do when an epileptic has a fit in the bath? Throw in your washing." they were all laughing out loud when a bloke tapped me on the shoulder and said "thats not funny, my brother was epileptic and died in the bath."
"sorry mate" i said "did he have a fit"
"no" he said "he choked on a sock"

[Timbo]

I was telling my mates in the pub the old joke about "what do you do when an epileptic has a fit in the bath? Throw in your washing." they were all laughing out loud when a bloke tapped me on the shoulder and said "thats not funny, my brother was epileptic and died in the bath."
"sorry mate" i said "did he have a fit"
"no" he said "he choked on a sock"

Now THAT is the Australian sense of humour!!!!

Do you think we enjoy irony so much because of the mines up north?

[hertryk]

Now THAT is the Australian sense of humour!!!!

Do you think we enjoy irony so much because of the mines up north?

My niece unfortunately did die in a bath after an epileptic fit..... She was 23 and just finished her degree at Uni...!!!!

But I am an Oz and still laugh...