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Thread: Spice Rub Burglar

  1. #1
    Vale thunderchicken9's Avatar
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    Spice Rub Burglar

    Ya just can't make this stuff up. There is a whole lotta strangeness in Fresno these days.. I'm so glad I moved here

    Burglar victims wake to spice rub, sausage attack
    By Louis Galvan / The Fresno Bee
    09/06/08 21:55:06



    A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed food seasoning over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.

    Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he's ever heard of, said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.

    Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.

    "It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.

    Arrested was Antonio Vasquez Jr., 21, of Fresno.

    Burrimond said deputies headed to the victims' home in the 300 block of South Thompson Avenue near Kings Canyon Road shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday regarding a burglary in progress.

    The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying "Pappy's Seasoning" to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.

    Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims' kitchen.

    After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.

    Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.

    "That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said.

    "I tell you, this was one weird case."

    The reporter can be reached at lgalvan@fresnobee.com

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    by and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth-george carlin:

  2. #2
    (formerly known as Coach) Your Humble Servant Darren's Avatar
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    wtf crazy yanks!

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  3. #3
    Vale thunderchicken9's Avatar
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    Well, uh, our bandit, Mr. Vasquez Jr., is... very... innovative,... i guess you could say! ... hopefully he'll write a book, with the obligatory made-for-t.v. movie soon! I wonder if the sheriff's deputies followed the dog around for awhile in an attempt to retrieve the remains of the weapon???

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    by and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth-george carlin:

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    Legend Contributor Flamethrower's Avatar
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    Any chance they all know each other??

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    Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

  5. #5
    Apprentice Thaied_Up's Avatar
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    The reporter, Louis Galvan, could be destined to join the ranks at the well regarded tabloid "National Enquirer".

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  6. #6
    Vale thunderchicken9's Avatar
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    Yes, California journalism has reached new heights, courtesy of Mr. Galvan. How anyone could report such a thing with a straight face is, well.. puzzling. I, for one, would not tell ANY PERSON, least of all sheriff's deputies, that I'd been assaulted by seasoning.. or Worse, beat about the head with a... sausauge!!! Argh! Interestingly enough, though, Pappy's is a fine rub, especially on tri-tip.. Maybe the burglar was some sort of pants-dropping cannibal!!!

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    by and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth-george carlin:

  7. #7
    Immortal jargan83's Avatar
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    wow thats just creepy, i am glad the article doesn't mention what the suspect did with the mayonaise
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  8. #8
    Legend Contributor Flamethrower's Avatar
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    Are they sure it's mayonaise???

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    Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

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