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Thread: Innocent Quokka not so "innocent"!!!

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    Innocent Quokka not so "innocent"!!!

    Innocent Quokka not so "innocent"!!!


    In a startling turn of events, the so called "Innocent Quokka" of Western Force infamy has been found to not so "innocent" after all!
    Since the highly publicised "Quokkagate Affair" the Quokka involved has been living on the sympathy of the public and media alike as some sweet innocent third party that got mixed up with the wrong crowd.

    However following extensive research by respected investigative journalist and published author, Claire McNab, for her recently released "The Quokka Question" an entirely different picture has unfolded of a seedy underworld on the Island of Fremantle which would suggest the original name of "Ratsnest" may be very appropriate after all.


    In revelations that read like a fourth installment of the Godfather Series, a very disturbing underbelly has been exposed on Rottnest Island and at Ground Zero is the, until now, public darling "Innocent Quokka".

    Prior to the "Quokkagate Affair" this seedy character was more commonly known as Nigel to his mother and Nigel "the Knife" to a fearful Quokka community on the resort island.



    The notorious Quokka Don, Nigel "the Knife" of Rottnest Island

    In a series of secure interviews and stakeouts McNab has collected damning evidence against Nigel including being involved in various levels of crime and corruption escalating from petty theft through to cultivating cannabis and prostitution.
    It is alleged that Nigel even has a scam running where he charges school leavers and sportsmen for the opportunity to throw or kick one of his fellow Quokkas yet the participating Quokka sees none of this profit.

    McNab claims that on the afternoon of the infamous "Quokkagate Affair" Nigel had to put himself forward to cover his trail with suspecting fellow Quokkas.
    It is rumoured that Nigel profited handsomely from the incident and is now riding a few moments of discomfort for all he can, including sending letters to journalists reporting on the Western Force reminding them to include throw away references in unrelated stories.

    If the damning evidence provided by McNabb proves to be accurate then the "Innocent Quokka" should expect a massive backlash from a to date tolerant public.

    McNabb provided exclusive investigative photographs to TWF of Nigel "the Knife" allegedly carrying out his shocking double life.
    You be the judge:





    Petty theft from unsuspecting International visitors





    Shown with mini cam used to capture footage from Ladies Toilets and shown online





    Caught tending his "Garden" in the middle of the Island, believed to be a marijuana crop





    Seen with a seedy International type allegedly trading drugs.





    Chief suspect in Island steroid supply case





    A renowned "ladies man", seen here trying to lure a International tourist into his prostitution ring.



    TWF approached the alleged "Innocent Quokka" for a quote but couldn't be bothered with what he had to say anyway so didn't bother listening.

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    Veteran Contributor fulvio sammut's Avatar
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    I always suspected that guy...

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    Veteran laura's Avatar
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    when i was on my school camp at Rotto we stayed at Kingston barracks and the quokkas shat everywhere we walked and one came in our dorm, ate our food and then pooped it out in our dorm...he has since been named tim-tam, I reckon he'd be Nigel's accomplice

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    Player Woody's Avatar
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    I'm sure when I visited the 'Ratsnest' 25 years ago that I saw one (possibly a young Nigel) in a full leather 'gimp' suit. This explains a lot, the old S&M Quokka thing. What they do in their own nest is entirely up to them (hey, I'm no prude) but to get off on the whole sado-masocistic thing then cry foul (or whatever they cry) is a bit rich.

    We see a bit of this sort of behaviour from the little kangaroos (wobblies) that made a new life for themselves over here (NZ)

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    Veteran Contributor frontrow's Avatar
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    Iam utterly disgusted and shocked at these revelations, but the proof is there for all to see....How can you sleep at night Nigel....Innocent quokka my arse...

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    Champion BLR's Avatar
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    Have you sent these to SMH? Ground-breaking!

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    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

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    Immortal Contributor The InnFORCEr's Avatar
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    Burgs....you need a holiday

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    The Wallabies - Still the only team to score tries and win away from home in both, yes both its World Cup victories!

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    Legend Contributor brokendown gunfighter's Avatar
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    i think he came across a crop in them thar hills

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    Legend Contributor slomo's Avatar
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    the truth was always going to come out, all class burgs....

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    Havent been to Rottnest in 11 years, next time i go i will better prepared to defend myself against the little rats

    Truely classy effort Burgs

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    Senior Player NeoGirl's Avatar
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    Hey everyone, I just got back from Rottnest, anyone for a glass of red McNab

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    Come to the dark side



    We have milk and cookies

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    Wow, i feel so enlightened

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    Champion Contributor Mtbeaver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The InnFORCEr View Post
    Burgs....you need a holiday
    Desperately

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    Maybe the loss of Daisy has hit him harder than we first thought

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