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Chat Report 12/12/07 – this space for rent
Roll Call
Myself
Exile
TLH
Gerry
Coach
Matty Beaver
Burgs
Blue and Black
Em-Forcer
Jargan83
Flamethrower
KenyaQuin
Harry
As the title suggests, the chat was notoriously sans-topic this week, always a cause of angst amongst the true rugby followers, since they know that a topicless chat turns out to be one of two things
Chat 12/12/07 Geeks Appreciation Night
Or
Chat 12/12/07 Any Psycho logs on and rants about random topics for as long as they like.
Tonight was no exception!
After a hard day at work pissing on and waving goodbye to the backs of my students (some of which I didn’t wave with the whole hand) I logged on about 7:30, landing right in the middle of a conversation about Burgs’ new laptop. Geek speak all around until Coach delights us with the revelation that several of us have lost a couple of million vbucks because he’s a boring bastard(not my words, I’ve got the log if you want)
The roulette wheel then lines up for a bashing from Ex, who is broke. Don’t panic Ex, once we can bet on the rugby again, I’ll be broker than you in a flash!
Back to the geeks arguing about Burgs’ laptop. Opinions are expressed, they range between something likeand
<br>
It’s beginning to feel like people are just trying to earn sales commission, perhaps it’s that Burgs seems to want something that’s light, powerful, big, long battery life, 15” screen and cheap! Glad you’re not asking much mate!
Em shocks us all by dropping in, oh joy, perhaps some oestrogen will help steer the conversation on to more enlightening topics! My pulse quickens…my pupils dilate, a delicate sheen of sweat kisses my brow…….we talk about computers some more!
It appears that the night is pretty terminal at this point! Beaver (unbelievably) attempts to steer the conversation in a useful direction by mentioning the arrival of his long awaited membership pack (still not happy Beav, mine hasn’t arrived yet, and I’m getting toey)
Back to the laptop talk…..WHEN WILL IT END!!!! Coach is sprouting numbers…prices aaaaaargh! It goes on, and on, and on will this torture never end!
Finally, a shaft of light at the end of the tunnel ... could it be, the glorious boss man has been tweaking the site in preparation for the 2008 season and it looks hot!
Conversation finally skews around to another geeky topic, (but at least one closer to the rugby) everybody seems pretty impressed with the new digs and voice their approval! Various comments suggestions and bitches ensue with the general effect being…well not much, we all like it and so it’ll stay pretty much how it is. Lots of suggestions like keeping the headlines and news feeds relevant (which really only becomes evident in the off season when they’re not constantly being replaced by new ones) I guess if you have a whinge, it’d be prudent to mention it in this thread (New Stuff - Western Force Rugby Supporters Site)
Ex is wondering if we can personalise the front page (I’m sure Chook would like to change it to some poofy shade of powder blue and stick a picture of a flower on it) Coach says there could be limited functions added. Once again, have your say, or hold your piece!
At this point the Beaver returns (from I know not where) and is greeted again. Coach enquires of TLH about the mighty Beaver’s work ethic, to which TLH replies
.
.
.
Well, that’s gotta be the most significant conversation implosion I’ve ever witnessed. I wonder if Beav still has a job! Of course, everyone makes his or her excuses….except a certain landscaper…. (things that make you go Hmmmm)
At this point coach admits to eating cheesy puffs (I’m not saying that’s a girly thing to do coach!)
everyone is eating chips and drinking beer….except me…mmm…hungry…thirsty…brb
I return, sated, to discover that I’m not the only one whose palate takes suggestion easily, oh, Flame and Kenya have lobbed in my absence. Moreover, the conversation has turned to the various colours of cricketers’ balls around the world (apparently the English have pink and mtbeaver has boulders….how did TLH discover this, probably a secret for all time!
Somehow, I am blamed for being a deviate, along with coach. Perceptive guy that TLH
Flamethrower poses the eternal question.
We all give our answers and discuss the point at length. The consensus is that we laugh because it wasn’t us that were hit in the nuts,everyone agrees, we move on.
At this point, I’d like to highlight the quote of the night. It went something like this
[20:54] <travelling_gerry> I reckon teachers should be paid the big bucks
‘nuff said
In addition, we talk about all the people who are underpaid for their professional choices. Apparently speed camera verifiers are grossly undervalued even though they’re like tits on a bull if you’ve been hit by the mechanical copper and happen to know one. Just ask Gerry and Jargan!
Gerry’s response gets him kicked….bye Gerry!
Oh hang on, there'sno topic!
We go on to talk about work a bit, but it’s ok because it’s my favourite topic (I should be paid more). The world discovers that despite 4 years of uni, 15 years of experience and a management position, I’m getting paid less than [people of limited capacity] who [don’t work particularly hard or effectively] in the mines. (Like the political correctness thing Coach, saved you a lawsuit there!)
We then discuss age (particularly the crest of the hill) and sniffing substances (particularly the fact that superglue makes an adequate suture)
Harry lobs right in the middle of the glue sniffing convo and Flame sharing something disturbing about Clag. My mouth gets me in the shit yet again!!! We talk about the weather, the new site and Beav’s work … wow Déjà vu.
Coach has had enough and rocks off for an early one….or possibly some sleep.
We bag Anthony Mundine (I thought that would be good for some mileage, but no…
And Ex trots off…
Just as things look truly woeful for the night, the boys notice the absence of our intrepid swear jar monitor and give it a test utilising the full breadth of the landscaping lexicon.
That's two words for anyone who wasn't there, neither of them 'City' words anywhere other than Edinburgh.
Beaver is kicked for his efforts, and the line in the sand has been swiftly identified and clearly marked for all to see.
The Beaver returns, contrite, and is quizzed upon his knowledge of native flora. He passes…just and prompts an extended conversation on how to capture a log, collective ignorance is shared and it all gets too much for Harry who leaves.
BB emails me what he has of the log, and I’m on my own from there. In the trade that’s known as ‘the perils of being a noob’
We talk a bit more about my teaching career and the state of education in WA, Em suggests that she might gain teaching status to immigrate. I convince her that it isn’t worth it and my mental issues are explored in depth.
The work talk, along with my ravings gets too much for B&B who takes his leave and we start to explore Harry’s pastrosexuality? (Is that a word Burgs, my spell checker doesn’t like it) Burgs informs me that Harry’s proximity to town actually makes him an Agrosexual, Em confirms this with stories of lycra and weightlifting.
At this point, I’d like to mention that a deal has been struck between Em and myself, this is the limit of that conversation on which I am to report. If you want detail…..Harry’s your man!(did I get it right Em, I think I said all the stuff I was meant to and missed the stuff I was meant to shut up about, hope that’s OK)
Burgs goes off to change into his green Lycra and Em and I are left alone…so... how’s the weather…
Upon his return I offer to make a Pastroman cartoon for Burgs, at least I will once I’ve finished my Gits. We talk about the fact that I’m a psychotic teacher of tracing, and attempt to find a school with a clock tower and a sniper rifle. Burgs suggests that Scotch has a ‘kinda platform thingy’ for the piper on speech night. After a good ten minutes of discussion, where Em and I rack our brains for the right word, Burgs answers his own question by naming it a parapet! Why am I here again?
The parapet is deemed sufficient because, whilst lacking in cover, it has an excellent arc of fire. If I was there on speech night, I’d be able to off hundreds of the little buggers!
We conclude with more talk on teaching…raising kids/training dogs and the similarities…did we note any differences, possibly … hitting kids on the nose with a rolled up newspaper wasn’t mentioned. And I choofed off, leaving Em and Burgs to wait for the washing to finish.
All in all, a wasted night, but it was fun, and I had a beer, so the lack of a topic wasn’t all bad! I really can’t wait until we’ve got some rugby to talk about!
Bring on the pre season!!!
Your intrepid southern correspondent
ps I'm submitting the majority of this report to the SMH in hopes of getting a job, I took TLH's advice!
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I'm sorry that I missed the fun, especially the teachers salary portion. 
