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Parodies of the erotic book “50 Shades of Grey” – this has been a bit of a hit on Twitter!
The creamy froth erupted over her face and hair. Mary hated when she sneezed into a pint of Guinness
Slowly he ran his finger down the middle, parting the pink softness, feeling the moist sticky centre. He loved a Mikado. [Mikado is an biscuit with jam and pink marshmallow]
She lay down on the silk sheets and shivered as he leaned over her. "I think it's time for the electric blanket again."
Sweat ran down his thighs, his knees supported by the carpet – 'Feck! How do you get a quilt cover on?' he sighed deeply
She grasped it in her hand again and pulled harder til the head overflowed with cream. "€4.50 for the Guinness" she said
Teresa squeezed her fingers against it. Twas firm. She squeezed again and took a sniff. Yes, this bread was fresh
Her underwear was wet as he pulled the rope.. There's great drying outside today she thought as the clothes line hoisted
Mary's mouth watered as his thrusts quickened.....but he still couldn't open the CapriSun with his straw
"I want you to tie me down for 18 months and treat me like dirt," she said. The man from Vodafone got the contract out...
Mary's inner goddess smiled as she felt the hot liquid hit the back of her neck. Jaysus, she really did love a cup of tea
The creamy liquid gushing down her throat, she slowly wiped her lips, looked up and muttered, "that's a grand pint"
Bridget held him down firm as he squirmed beneath her. She was so wet. Shearing a sheep in the peat bog was a bad idea
He asked if she could handle more than one finger. She said she preferred Hob Nobs with the tea
It was sweltering. The sweat rolled off their skin as she cried "Did you leave the bloody immersion on again!?"
'Give it to me, give it to me', he roared aggressively. Some days Mary hated working at Ulster Bank
Bríd's knees were sore and her throat was raw...This was the longest Novena she'd ever attended
'Spread 'em', he said gruffly. Margie looked dolefully at the bags of fertilizer destined for the back field.
‘Do you have protection?’ she whispers... ‘I've a baseball bat in the back but those lads haven't been around here in a while’
‘I want good head’, he barked roughly. Demanding. The barmaid took back the pint and thought 'little prick'.
He took deep breaths, prepared to slip inside. "Sorry bud, ye're not comin' in here wit dem runners!", said the bouncer.
Finally he lets me gaze on it. A giant that called to a bit of me I'd never felt. "Now this", he growls, "is a tractor".
Dark, penetrating eyes seem to anticipate my desires before I feel them. "I've a bag of tayto in the press" he murmurs.
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