'Overweight women' lure SA players away
Friday 25th January 2008
http://www.rugby365.com/story/0,1888...077811,00.html
The Aussies, the Kiwis and the Irish drank too much. The English were too slow and the South Africans absconded with overweight American girls.
That is why the coach of an American rugby club has had enough, for the time being, of players from abroad.
None of the imported players contributed much to the cause of the Louisville Rugby Club in Kentucky.
The coach, Eric Raney, has written in the American magazine Rugby that the locals are now saying, "all foreigners suck".
Two English prop forwards played in a lot of matches, but were not worth much. The one, Robert, was the slowest player he had ever seen, Raney wrote.
The other one could light up a party with his karaoke rendition of Meat Loaf's 'Paradise By the Dashboard Light', but he was small and sensitive and did not like practicing.
A French player, called 'Frenchie' by the locals, came and left without doing much more than teaching the Americans some French swear words.
There was also a Welshman named "The Beast", who made fiery speeches before matches but ran out of gas ten minutes after kick-off.
The many New Zealanders, Australians and Irishmen were able to drink unusual amounts of beer and the Uruguayans had "the emotions of an eleven-year-old".
Then there were the South Africans. They were signed up at the merry-go-round at the annual Kentucky Show, where many South Africans worked.
The club arranged jobs and accommodation for them and actually got a few matches out of them "before they hooked up with lonely, overweight American girls".
That was the last the club saw of them.
"They are undoubtedly frightening little children somewhere now and working their way through the immigration process," Raney wrote.
But he is not bitter.
Louisville still have their South African fly-half, Shaun, whom Raney rated as an "exceptional player".
Shaun was signed up at a horse show where he worked as a farrier. He has turned into the club's stalwart.
"Unfortunately nobody can follow what he says when he gets excited."
