Matt Giteau Abducted by Aliens
The EnForcer
Supreme Rugby Correspondent SMC
SMC (Swanbourne Morning Cronicle) can exclusively report the suspicious disappearance of Matt Giteau raising speculation that the multi million dollar Western Force signing has been abducted by Aliens.
High-ranking sources have told the Cronicle that the Wallabies utility back has recently been in contact with influential rugby officials seeking discreet advice on reported alien threats.
Wallaby management and players were unavailable for comment today, further raising fears for Matts safety.
The Giteau family were clearly distressed by the news and were unable to comment but released a statement through a representative stating: "He's in France.".
Official sources are believed to be concerned with alleged links between Firepower, The Western Force's main sponsor, and Russian organisations. One high ranking official stated, "These links are a concern and we are currently investigating whether this may indicate alien funding.
The CEO of The Western Force, Peter O'Meara, was asked if there had been any randsom received from the Aliens. The embattled CEO stated: "He's in France!"
The ARU are believed to be concerned with The Western Force's lack of regard for player safety.
Matt Henjak, a former Wallaby, team mate and friend of Matt Giteau's was in shock but clearly in denial over the incident. "He's in France!"
High ranking officials are believe to be planning meetings to establish the current status of the crisis and will be investigating claims of a cover up involving Peter O'Meara, The Western Force and Firepower.
An official source within high ranking officials in the ARU implied that the investigation would be comprehensive with grave ramifications likely. He stated, "The cover up is ludicrous and we are under no illusion that there are attempts to derail our task of getting to the truth. Why on earth would Matt Giteau be in France?"
